I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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