how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
