He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
