So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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