You just made me feel so damn special
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
