that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My vagina is very pro this idea
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
