Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
