he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
