All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We left the knife in your bed.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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