You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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