True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
