Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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