she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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