no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
