She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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