Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
