Christians are straight up FREAKS
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Man, jail baloney is awful.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
