HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
