I am puke
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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