So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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