I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
