like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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