i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
