You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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