he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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