Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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