I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
