I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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