her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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