when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
