I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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