i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
