they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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