you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
