I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
the condom got lost in my hair
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
