you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
