He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
