My friends, they love my intelligence
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
