so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
