She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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