If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
