And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
