I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
