Swine flu. Run for my life!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
