She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
