I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
