Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
