I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
