I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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