either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He better not be in your backpack
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
