You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
50% drunk capacity currently
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
