This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
