i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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