You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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