The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
