This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
