Don't you send me to vm
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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